Talk

As my wife, K, and I proceed towards divorce (yes, I did finally "make up my mind"), I find that she and I are having surprisingly substantial and revealinmg conversations, better than the ones we tried to have the week before.

I am reminded of a documentary I saw once in which a man who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness talked about how he enjoyed the feeling of freedom he now felt, one benefit at least of his condition. By the end of the film, he was in remission, and he wondered whether he could ever get back that wonderful sense of freedom, since he thought it would actually be more use to him now that he had the prospect of a normal life span. That is kind of the way I feel about my newfound ability to talk with K, now that she apparently is not going to be my wife any more: that if we could resume our relationship now, with this new ability to talk freely, we could have a good life together.

But I doubt that is going to happen, and anyway I am proceeding toward a new life with R at this point.

And yes, looking forward to it.