Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Bad Man

No matter how this ends up, no matter which woman I wind up with, I will always look back on this time in my life with contempt and self-loathing, because I know that this long period of delay and indecision is causing pain to both women in my life.

Each of them is torn by uncertainty and ambivalence. R has passed up job opportunities in order to remain in the Willamette Valley area so that I would not have to decide yet, and also so that I would be available to my wife so that as my ex-wife, she would not be deprived of my assistance when she needed it.

Big joke: when my wife finally heard about this, she told me bluntly that once I left she would not want to see me any longer.

Christ's bones.

1 comment:

still hot said...

Do you understand why?