Selfishness

To choose between two women who love me, each of whom wants me and needs me, is not easy. Choosing between them without taking into consideration their needs or desires, and only my own, is a lot harder, but it's what I have to do.

Making a decision like this requires a very special and ruthless kind of selfishness, like that of an infant or a hunted animal. I hadn't ever expected to be forced to make that kind of decision.

And if you're sitting there reading this, feeling impatient about my endlessly saying "I have to decide, I really truly have to decide, and nobody can decide it for me, it's all up to me," I understand exactly. I'm tired of it, too.